This sounds simple, but it’s oh, so effective: using someone’s name as soon as you “meet” them creates a sense of familiarity without coming off as creepy. It also shows you’ve actually taken the time to notice their name, instead of using the mindless copypasta approach.
Second, asking a quick question gets the conversation going immediately. Because leaving things at “hey” or “hi” in your first message ALMOST NEVER gets a reply or turns into a conversation on Tinder. (Unless that lucky person wrote “hey” to you, in which case you’re going to get the conversation rolling with this approach.)
Technically the question doesn’t have to be food-related, but first messages about food tend to get a lot of replies, so. ??
You: Mara! Mac & cheese or pizza? Mara: Mac ‘n’ cheese, no question n, I like where your head’s at
You: Hi, Candice. What are your thoughts on adding peas to guac? Candice: Ugh, my mom tries to do this, she thinks no one will notice Candice: It’s as gross as you would imagine You: I’m sorry you’ve had this trial. Sure , maybe it’s fewer calories, but at what cost?
Get-to-know-you games (like Would You Rather or Kiss, Marry, Kill) are awesome for starting conversations on Tinder because they give you a topic to discuss immediately.
Guys are usually told to start Tinder conversations with a joke, but jokes are waaaay less effective than games. When you start a conversation on Tinder with a joke, what is the desired outcome? She responds “haha”? And… that’s it? If there’s any hope of turning that first message into a conversation into a date, the guy has to start a real conversation from scratch after the joke is finished. Start a real conversation from the output instead – and make it fun with a game!
You: F, m Priscilla: Easy, f John Legend, m, kill John Oliver. Priscilla: Ok, your turn Priscilla: F, marry, kill…Charlize Theron, Beyonce, Kate Upton
You: Would you rather go sightseeing in Europe or lay on a beach in the Caribbean? Livvy: I’d have to pick Europe…I think I’d get bored on a beach by the 2nd day You: Same You: Which country would you start out with? Livvy: Ireland!
Okay, so no jokes, no “hey,” and while I’m at it, I’ll add another: don’t simply comment on looks. This also fails to start a real conversation or set you apart from the other 737903 people who thought to say “Wow, you’re hot.”
Referencing something they said in their bio (and asking a question about it) takes more work than other approaches but can definitely make you stand out.
(Shayla said she likes mountain biking in her bio) You: So which trail is your favorite for biking? Shayla: Hey! Probably Apex Park…it’s so close and has enough variety that I can do an easy ride or make it more challenging You: Awesome! I haven’t been to that one, but I’ve heard it has good views Shayla: Yeah, beats a stationary bike in the gym any day!
(Kate’s bio mentioned how much she loves The Office) You: Which Office character is your favorite? (I will judge your response) Kate: Haha this is actually really hard Kate: I’m gonna go with Erin. She’s so chipper and enthusiastic, even when she doesn’t fully understand what’s going on
If you used one of the Tinder conversation starter examples above – and avoided lame non-starters like “What’s up?” – you’ll be having an interesting Tinder conversation right away.